Dreaming of being an only child..

While my memory is a pretty good one, I do not remember specific conversations from 6 months ago. I am sure, for example, that I spoke to one of my sister in laws and one of my sisters regarding the need to change my parents 50th anniversary dinner from a dinner to a brunch. I am not sure of the date, and I am not sure of the exact words used. I am however, sure of their answers, which were, either is fine.

Why on earth is this somewhat trivial conversation coming up now? Because it is my family.

My family that I live 2 hours away from JUST BECAUSE.

Dammit, they still have my phone number...

At our first (and only) conversation in JANUUARY, I had said I would do the invitations for this party, the same invitations which started the proverbial ball rolling for the phone call that came tonight.

In typical "my family" fashion, my oldest brother started the conversation this way:

"Hi. How are you doing? Yeah, well, I had a couple of questions, well, first really a complement, and then a couple of questions."

{insert me cringing and shaking my head to the skies...}

"So, the invitations are really beautiful, and so, thanks. They came out really nice."

(wait for it..you know that other shoe is about to drop....)

"Yeah, so now for the questions...uh, is this party still a surprise, or...?"

GAHHHHHH.....same freaking conversation, I know I said I had to SELL my parents on the brunch idea....I am sure I spoke to one of them in the 2 hour away Twilight Zone SIX. MONTHS. AGO.

Me: "No, it isn't anymore, since on Mother's Day, when Mom & Dad were here, they were ADAMANT that they didn't want any get together at all..I did the best I could under the gun as I was.."

Him: "Oh, well, I think we could have handled this another way. I think you should have called down here to discuss this before telling them all about it."

Let the head banging and hair tugging commmence...inside my mind, it sounded an awful lot like this:

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO I BOTHER?......WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY CAN'T ANTHING EVER JUST "BE"?.....WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER I THINK I'VE MADE A GOOD PLAY FOR THE TEAM, I GET KNIFED IN THE BACK?

Quickly followed by:

YOU KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING...YOU KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING....JUST GET OFF THE PHONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE....DON'T LOSE YOUR TEMPER...YOU KNOW THEY WILL SOMEHOW TURN ON YOU, JUST LET IT PASS YOU OVER...

So then, the next question was about the part that was most important to my parents, the fact that they are having a mass said on the day of their anniversary, (which necessitated the change to Sunday brunch from Saturday night dinner...).

I struggled with the wording on the invitation, which I explained to my brother...I thought I came up with the best way to include all points and still make the invite from the 5 of us. He didn't like that it appeared that the anniversary celebration began with the mass. (um, it does..since this is what our parents want...but I digress..) He actually said "well, what if someone doesn't want to go to the mass?" To which I replied, then they don't go...I added that this is not a huge group of unknowns here, I was fairly sure that everyone getting the invite would be at the mass.

I added that if I could get my dear spouse to step foot in a Catholic Church after spending the first 8 years of his formal schooling in the 1960s being bashed by nuns in a Catholic school, I felt that everyone else on that list SHOULD be able to get there. I added that it was my task to send out the invites, but that I would not be chasing anyone up for how they planned to attend, or what they would be wearing.

Now, here's the funny part..while he was bothered that I didn't check on the wording with him, he said he actually thought that everyone WOULD go to the mass, but it could have been worded differently.

SEE??? SEE????? They make me crazy...who gives a rat's ass how the freaking invite is worded?? GAHHHH!!!!

The conversation looped around how he thought we could have still made it a surprise, and how I should have ended the conversation before I told them about our plan, and who we wanted to invite..but I said I did the best I could under the circumstances. We can Monday morning quarterback all we want, but the bell has rung on this.

I did however, pass off the cake selection and purchasing to him and the other 4 freaks 2 hours away. I have done my part with the dropping off of the deposit, and the making and mailing of the invitations and soon to be receiving of the invite RSVPs to tally the total...I made it clear that there was nothing more I had on my "to do" list, that I planned on finding outfits for us to wear, and showing up.

He tried a bit of smoothing over as the conversation ended, telling me that "boy, if ever want invitations made, I know to come to you.."

Gee, thanks. Really.